Three-time cup-winning captain Terry Friend dies aged 76 | Team-mates and rivals remember a committed sportsman | 'Terry didn't take losing that well and I preferred playing with him more than playing against him' – Joe Oliver
CONRAD SUTCLIFFE LOOKS BACK ON THE LIFE OF TERRY FRIEND
TEAM-mates and former rivals have been remembering cricketer, rugby player and referee Terry Friend, who has died at the age of 76.
Friend played rugby for Torquay Athletic and Brixham in the 1960s and cricket for long-defunct Shiphay St John, Paignton, where he was a county cup-winning skipper, and Devon. He was also an accomplished ballroom dancer who took up the pastime as a schoolboy and continued with it into his early 70s.
As a rugby referee he rose through the ranks to become one of the top 10 whistlemen in the country and was shortlisted for international duty, but never took charge of a Test match. He regularly refereed matches involving top club sides such as Bath, Bristol, Wasps, Harlequins and leading Welsh teams such as Llanelli and Cross Keys.
When Friend’s active playing days finished in the late 1990s he turned to administration and coaching, concentrating mainly on rugby and in particular training up-and-coming referees. He also coached a youth team at Exeter Saracens for two seasons.
Among the first to pay tribute to Terry was Bob Staddon, now the president of Exeter Chiefs but in his playing days an opponent on rugby, cricket fields and ballrooms as well as a Devon CCC team-mate in the 1970s.
“More than anything I remember Terry as a very talented rugby referee who took charge of Exeter games many times,” said Staddon, who was a contemporary of Friend’s at St Luke’s College in the 1960s.
“Terry would not stand any nonsense and you always knew where you stood with him.
“I played cricket with and against Terry and his hard hitting was well known. I distinctly remember playing for Devon against Somerset 2nd XI when he took their bowling apart.
“Terry and I shared an interest in ballroom dancing and I saw him on a number of occasions. For a burly gent he was very light on his feet and I will always remember him dancing the tango at a competition in Plymouth many years ago.”
Bob Lovell, the former Brixham and Torquay Athletic front-row forward, knew Friend as rugby referee and admired his handling of games.
“We were pushing for promotion and were due to go to Matson, who were having a bad patch of players being sent off at the time,” said Lovell.
“The game was seen by league officials as a problem so Terry, by now reffing at a much higher standard, was given the game along with two refs running the line.
“I well remember how Terry totally gave a master display on how to deal with problems on the field.”
Neil Gamble, the chairman of Devon CCC, saw a different side to Terry when he was headmaster of Exeter School and stood on the touchline watching youth rugby matches.
“Terry presided over many matches at different age groups, some of which were in big national cup competitions,” said Gamble.
“He was always fair, shrewd knowledgeable, and enabled play to flow in the best traditions of schools rugby. He will be much missed.”
Friend skippered Paignton to a Devon Cup final win in 1980 when they defeated Torquay at Exeter in a tense affair. Barrie Matthews, then a Torquay player and at that time captain of the county side, said he had happy memories of playing with Friend.
“I remember battling with Terry when I scored my maiden hundred for Devon, while sharing a partnership of more than a hundred in beating the old enemy Cornwall at Falmouth,” said Matthews.
“We first crossed paths in the 60s when we played against each other in the fiercely fought Torquay-versus-Paignton derbies.
“We were both opening bowlers in those days and hard-hitting batsmen, though I couldn't hit the ball as hard as Terry could!”
Joe Oliver, who played cricket with Terry for Paignton Devon Colts and Devon and against him for South Devon CC, said he was a player you wanted in your team.
“Terry was a very intense and determined cricketer, who started out as a leg-spinner then became a lively and successful pace bowler in his late 20s,” said Oliver.
“His real strength was his batting. On his day he could take any bowling apart. Terry didn't take losing that well and I preferred playing with him more than playing against him.”
Friend’s rumbustious approach to batting got a cool reception from Gerald Trump, who was Devon county captain when he made his first appearance in 1971.
In his end-of-season report, Trump said: “Terry Friend blasted a few attacks around the field and if he can curb is impatience a little, with stopping hitting the ball, then he could well make it."
Friend appeared 19 times for Devon CCC in Minor Counties between 1971-1974. He averaged a fraction above 20 and made four half-centuries. His top score was 72 against Dorset on his home ground at Paignton. He also played for the Devon Cricket Association XI in inter-league competitions.
Terrence Roger Friend was born in Crediton in 1946. Although the family were Brixham fishing folk they were living with his grandparents at the time. Brother Richard came along two years later.
Father Richard worked in the town clerk’s office in Dartmouth and as his career in local government progressed the family moved to Leamington Spa then Kidderminster.
Dad played cricket for Leamington Spa and eight-year-old Terry used to help with the scoring on match days,
When Richard and wife Joan separated in the early 1950s, mother and sons moved back to South Devon.
It was around this time that Terry started ballroom dancing in classes held in a studio above Burton’s the tailors in Victoria Street, Paignton.
Friend attended Collaton St Mary Primary School on the outskirts of Paignton and, aged 11, won a place at Torquay Boys’ Grammar School. The next stage of his education was St Luke’s College in Exeter, where he trained to teach maths and PE.
After leaving St Luke’s Friend joined the staff at Montpellier School in Paignton, a private school with a strong sporting reputation, especially on the rugby field.
Friend was talented spotted on the cricket pitch as a teenager and played for Devon Colts in the early 1960s. He also had a trial with Worcestershire in 1964. After a brief flirtation with South Devon he joined Paignton and remained there for 20 years until leaving the area for a job with British Steel in Northamptonshire.
Friend had two spells as Paignton captain – 1976-77 and 1980-83 – during which they won the Devon KO Cup three times and were runners-up once.
As grammar school rugby player it was inevitable Friend would be directed towards Torquay Athletic and he made his 1st XV debut as a teenager. As a full-back or centre he was often required to deputise for Mike Caunter when he was away on Devon duties.
Friend suffered a broken leg while playing for Torquay against Brixham in 1966. When he recovered, and found games hard to come by at the Recreation Ground, he switched to Brixham RFC.
“Terry was an excellent and quick utility back, who joined us for the 1968-69 season but did not play regularly, remembered team-mate Ray Gardner.
Friend switched to rugby refereeing in 1971 and clocked-up a quarter of a century with the whistle.
After Terry left teaching he ran newsagents in Brixham and Newton Abbot before moving with the family to Northamptonshire then Staffordshire to work for British Steel as a analyst.
Terry was a member of the Leicestershire Rugby Referees’ Society at first, then switched to Staffordshire before moving back to Devon in the early 1990s.
Cricket resumed with Bradninch CC between 1991-96. Friend was 1st XI captain in 1992-93 and club secretary in 1994. His cricket career ended with a spell at Shobrooke Park. He served for a year in 1984 as a divisional secretary for the Devon Cricket League.
Knee trouble brought an end to Friend’s rugby refereeing career in 1996, when, by now working for the National Health Service, he started devoting his total energies to administration.
Friend was already a Devon RRS official and served on the management executive in a number of roles between 1991-2015. Those included referee advisor (1997-2019) and exchange secretary (1997-2015). He was involved in administering the South West Federation of Referees from its inception in 2006. Devon RRS made Friend a life member in 2002.
Friend was elected to the Devon RFU committee in 2005 and remained a member until his death. One of his first achievements was to launch county cup competitions for players aged 13-16 with prestige finals at Exeter Chiefs’ ground.
At various times Friend was either a member of or chaired Devon’s governance committee (2006-13), discipline panel (2006-2014) and competitions committee (2006-2022)
Terry Friend died at his home in Uffculme in East Devon on May 29. His three children – son Adam and daughters Danielle and Suzy – survive him together with long-time partner Josie.
His funeral will take place at the Exeter and Devon Crematorium on Friday, June 17 at 3.30pm. A reception will follow at the nearby Buckerell Lodge hotel.
